


I Dusted Off Some Memories of You

by Alias_Slashley



Series: Jonesmith [1]
Category: The Monkees (Band), The Monkees (TV)
Genre: M/M, jonesmith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 04:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20465213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alias_Slashley/pseuds/Alias_Slashley
Summary: The course of a romantic relationship told in memories.





	1. Chapter 1

Two raindrops dripped and raced their way down the window pane. Mike’s tired eyes followed the droplets as he rested his forehead against the cold glass and leaned his body against the wall next to him. It wasn’t particularly interesting but it was better than being in touch with reality. Sure the weather was reality and it was an avoidance of what was plaguing his mind. Once the left raindrop won, Mike forcefully craned his neck to look beyond the droplets on the window. The sky was so dark gray that it was nearly black. It was an interesting contrast among the bright green tree leaves that shown against the drabness. Mike could see a small crack of blue amongst the gray. He remembered that above the darkness of the clouds there was still that clear blue sky. Unscathed. That idea was too much to bear at the moment. Mike was content with the dark, drab weather. It matched his mindset. He placed his fingers against the glass and tried to swirl the dots of water even though it was on the other side of the pane. He rested his hand flat against the cool surface and closed his eyes…

The wind caressed Mike’s cheeks. It was a cooler wind than usual since hints of autumn were beginning to permeate the environment. The colors were beautiful on this scenic drive as was the view of the passenger’s seat. Davy was fiddling with the radio trying to find some sort of station in this unfamiliar territory. At least the cool air provided an excuse as to why Mike’s cheeks were red instead of blushing from Davy absentmindedly touching his arm every once in a while.

“Finally!” Davy exclaimed jolting Mike out of his thoughts.

_“Thanks for listening to WMX…”_

“I thought we were too far out to find anything on the radio,” Davy leaned back into his seat.

Mike couldn’t help but glance over and catch the peaceful look that washed over Davy’s features. It was breathtaking. He had this sweet disposition and a wide eyed gaze that caught Mike’s attention every time. He looked back up and slammed on the brakes. He almost ran a stop sign. He saw out of the corner of his eye Davy’s once relaxed body now tense with being startled.

“Sorry, there was a bush in the way,” Mike lied.

“No worries, Mate,” Davy settled back into his seat. “It really is beautiful out this time of year, isn’t it?”

Mike felt his heart flutter. “Definitely.”

A recognizable instrumental began to play over the radio.

“Oh here we go,” Davy straightened up and rubbed his hands together. “This song may be cheesy but I love it. Sing it with me as a duet, Mike.”

Mike smiled a bit and hoped that Davy hadn’t noticed. “’Fraid I don’t know this one, Tiny.”

“Bullshit,” Davy exclaimed as he swayed his head to the beat and began to sing, “_They say we’re young and we don’t know, we won’t find out until we grow_…Take it, Mike.”

Mike sat in silence. He felt too self-conscious sing this sappy love song with someone he was harboring feelings for. It was romantic to him and that was uncomfortable. The Sonny portion of the song passed into the chorus.

“I guess I’ll have to sing both parts meself,” Davy joked. _“They say our love won’t pay the rent before it’s earned…”_

Mike listened to Davy’s voice carry the tune of both singers to the perfection that Mike had come to admire. He ached to join in and feel that sense of bonding, connection. But there was that critical side of himself that was ashamed of the desire for that connectedness. It was impure. And when would an opportunity like this present itself again? He needed to take advantage.

Mike made a decision and cut in at that moment. “_I’ve got flowers in the spring. I got you to wear my ring._”

“Hey, I thought you didn’t know this one?” Davy looked over with a smile and Mike winked.

_“So let them say your hair’s too long ‘cause I don’t care with you I can’t go wrong,”_ Davy sang.

_“Then put your little hand in mine…”_

Mike felt a warmth envelope his hand that was resting on the gear shift. Davy had wrapped his hand around Mike’s gently and gave a subtle squeeze. Mike nearly swerved into the guardrail and regretted it immediately when Davy removed his hand. Mike put both hands on the steering wheel to steady the car and his nerves. The silence lay thick in the air the only sound was the final “_I got you babe_’s” from the radio.

Mike’s head was spinning. Had Davy meant to do that? If he did was it in jest to the song lyrics or did it mean something more? He wouldn’t be finding out anymore because Davy was now just staring out his window. It seemed lame to make up an excuse like he had for the stop sign because it had been blatantly obvious what caused the swerve. Mike cursed himself for that knee jerk reaction. Davy may have been making a move and his actions may have stifled things for good.

Mike didn’t want this to end on a sour note. He couldn’t bear the thought of driving all the way back in uncomfortable silence alone with his thoughts. He took a leap of faith. Mike took a white knuckled hand off the steering wheel and slowly inched it hesitantly towards the opposite side of the car. He gingerly placed the shaky hand on Davy’s thigh right above his knee. Mike held his breath waiting for a reply. He could barely hear _California Dreamin’_ above the blood rushing through his ears. He couldn’t look over out of sheer panic and needing to refrain from almost killing them a third time. His hand noticed tightness in Davy’s body before an ease. Mike then felt Davy turn Mike’s hand over and place his own inside interlacing their fingers. Davy’s thumb was caressing the outside of Mike’s hand.

There was still silence the rest of the way home. It was comfortable silence.


	2. Chapter 2

Davy heaved a sigh of relief. He looked out the bus window and saw that the dark clouds were breaking up and a crystal, blue sky was coming back into focus. He wanted to enjoy that California sunshine as long as he could. Before he arrived at his destination across the country in New York.

He could already start to feel the warmth of the sunlight on his face. He watched the rain droplets on the window and wondered how long it took for those to evaporate. It was a welcomed change in the environment. Rainy days brought up memories. Memories that he wasn’t ready to let go of and wasn’t ready to face…

Davy listened to the pitter patter of rain drops on the roof as they began to approach more violently with every passing moment. That sure did put a damper on his plans to hang out on the beach. It had been an unseasonably warm autumn day and Davy had been hoping to clear his mind by venturing out to his favorite space. His mind had been replaying that day in the car with Mike on repeat. It had been two weeks ago and even though things seemed to end on a good note, Mike hadn’t approached Davy about it or made another move. There was radio silence as if nothing had happened in the first place.

A loud crack of thunder broke Davy’s customary train of thought. He was at it again, reading too much into things. It was a constant battle of maybe Mike was just being polite and really didn’t have feelings for Davy too versus the want and desire for Mike to reciprocate the love that Davy had for him. He was too scared to actually talk to Mike about it. And clearly Mike was feeling a certain way about things too because if Davy wasn’t imagining things Mike was avoiding being around him completely. That was that then, Mike was uncomfortable around Davy because Davy boldly made a move and the sentiment was not mutual.

“Want to go to the movies?”

Davy jumped at Peter’s sudden presence. “Don’t do that!”

“Sorry,” Peter apologized. “Micky and I are going to go see a movie. Wanna come?”

Davy shook his head. “No thanks, I’m not up for it.”

“Suit yourself,” Micky appeared down the stairs, “Just sit around sulking.”

“I’m not sulking.”

Micky shrugged as he and Peter walked out the door. They must have been crazy going out in this storm. Especially when Mike was out of the house with the Monkeemobile and they would have to walk. Just then, Mike walked through the front door and began wringing out his hat. Davy watched him and noted how his now wet t-shirt clung to his body. He didn’t want Mike to notice him staring but he couldn’t look away. Mike hung his hat on a hook near the door and looked forward making eye contact with an awestruck Davy.

Mike immediately looked flustered and ran his hand through his hair. “Boy, it’s really coming down out there.”

Davy nodded. He couldn’t speak at that moment. Even though Mike looked extremely uncomfortable he was trying to make an effort to engage in conversation. That was more than had happened throughout the past two weeks. Davy wanted to say something but words were escaping him.

“Whatcha doin’?” Mike eased the conversation along.

Davy had no answer because he was literally doing nothing except thinking about Mike. “Listening to the rain,” was all he could come up with.

Mike looked wistfully out the window and listened. “Yeah, it is pretty peaceful when you aren’t actually in the line of fire, er water.”

Davy stole a smile at Mike’s bumbling for words. “I’ve always thought so.”

Mike awkwardly stood near the door looking like he was trying to figure out what to do with himself. He squished his hands inside his wet pockets and looked as though he regretted it immediately.

Davy offered him a solution. “Want to sit with me and watch the rain?”

Mike eyes widened and he shifted in place uncomfortably. Davy picked up on the energy right away and cursed himself for not allowing things to happen organically.

“That is unless you were planning on doing something else…”

Mike looked down at the floor where his boot was scuffing at the floor. “No, no I wasn’t going to do anything in particular. I’ll just go change my clothes. Be right back.”

Davy wasn’t quite sure what to make of the interaction. Was Mike uncomfortable about their history and being alone with Davy? Or was it something more? He didn’t know if he was ready for what this situation was going to bring but there was no time to run because Mike was back before he knew it. He was in a plain white t-shirt and jeans, barefoot. Davy thought that he had never seen Mike more attractive. Mike was tousling his hair with a towel trying to do the impossible and dry his mane quickly. His hair was still wet and had a messy look to it. When Mike got out of his primping phase, he stared awkwardly towards the bandstand again as if working up the courage to go over there.

He stiffly walked over and sat on Micky’s drum stool next to Davy who was sitting on an amp. With the raised height of the amp it was almost as if the two of them were the same height. Davy stared blankly out the window. He couldn’t pay attention to anything except for Mike nervously tapping his hands against his own thighs. Davy wanted to come to the rescue and steady Mike’s nerves, but he didn’t know if that’s what Mike even wanted. He may have been on edge from being in such close proximity to Davy. The tension was thick in the air. Someone was going to have to break it and nobody was willing to.

After what felt like 30 minutes of silence that was actually two minutes, Davy looked over at Mike whose hand tapping was joined by his feet as well as his mouth mimicking a beat. Mike noticed Davy watching him and stopped immediately.

“Sorry,” Mike said sheepishly.

“You’re not bothering me, Mate,” Davy replied.

Mike waited a few more beats of silence before, “Listen…”

He was interrupted by another loud crash of thunder and the lights going out. Davy made a small yelp and Mike cleared his throat. Davy heard him get up and walk towards a nearby cabinet and take something out. Mike came back with a lit candle and set it on the window ledge between them. He then busied himself putting a couple more around the common area in case they needed to move about. While Mike did that, Davy took some deep breaths to steady his own nerves. Even though he wasn’t outwardly showing it he was a jumbled mess of nerves on the inside. He wiped the sweat from his palms onto his pant legs.

Mike settled back in a let out a long low whistle. There was no need to say anything because Davy was pretty sure that the whistle was about either the storm outside or the storm of emotions between them. Davy looked over at the glowing features of his companion. The candlelight cast shadows on Mike’s face giving him a dark, mysterious aura. Candlelight was always a romantic gesture and it was almost as if the gesture was being wasted. It didn’t have to be though. Davy squirmed around in his seat a bit wanting to address the elephant in the room.

“What were you about to say before the thunder, Mike?” Davy was anticipatory over what it could have been.

Mike looked down at his hands trying to examine them although it was too dark to do so. “Oh, I don’t remember.”

“I don’t believe that,” Davy challenged.

Mike sighed. “It wasn’t important.”

The words that were remaining unsaid were floating in the tension that still existed adding more uncomfortable energy. Davy was subtly studying Mike’s every move, watching him fidget with his hands and bounce his leg with anxiety. Mike’s eyes were fixated on the candle flame. Davy wished that Mike would just say what was on his mind, it was agonizing torture.

Davy blew air out of his mouth impatiently as he leaned over with his elbows on his knees. He accidentally blew out the candle in the process. He reached for the book of matches that Mike had set next to the candle. While reaching, his hand came in contact with something. Mike’s hand. They froze for a moment before moving their hands away quickly.

Davy could feel tingling on his fingers from where they brushed Mike’s. His heart was racing. He looked over and locked eyes with Mike who was already staring in his direction. And though it was dark, Davy felt as though he could see Mike’s eyes perfectly. Mike’s eyes were questioning yet soft. Davy was quite sure how to read the look so he waited for Mike to proceed.

Mike got up as though he was going to leave. “I think I’m going to…”

“Don’t go!” Davy cried out without even thinking. There was distress in his voice, it was cracking and Davy wasn’t quite sure why he was near tears.

Mike touched Davy’s shoulder gently. “Never mind.” A tension lingered still, but it was a different tension. More sexual than it was awkward. Neither one seemed to know how to proceed. They stared at each other though. Davy could feel heat spread through his body. He wanted to pounce on Mike right that second but was holding back to make sure Mike was doing things in his own time.

Mike sat back down on the stool and resumed his study of Davy’s eyes. He licked his lips and leaned forward slowly pressing his lips to Davy’s. Davy caught Mike’s lips and pulled him in closer by the shirt collar making the kiss grow in intensity within a few seconds. Mike leaned in and began maneuvering his body to be nearer to Davy’s. He place one hand on Davy’s cheek and the other on his neck taking care in the movements. Davy was still clinging to the shirt collar and felt an instant rush of relief as well as the desire to continue on.

When they pulled apart there was more dead silence in the room. Neither one seemed to know what to say or where to go from there. Words were not what was important at the moment. So they decided to let their bodies do the talking.

Mike had a wild look in his eyes and stood up in front of the amp that Davy was still perched on. He positioned his hips between Davy’s open legs and placed his palms down on the amp on either side of Davy. Davy wrapped his arms around Mike’s neck and smashed their lips together. Mike lifted Davy off the amp not breaking the kiss as Davy wrapped his legs around Mike as well. Their hands were moving and exploring each other’s bodies as the kiss intensified. Davy slipped his tongue into Mike’s mouth as Mike pressed Davy’s body up against the wall.

Davy released the kiss by biting Mike’s lower lip causing the other man to go crazy with ecstasy. Mike began ravaging Davy’s neck with his tongue and lips. Davy was moaning in approval. His legs fell away from Mike’s body and he slid lower to the floor without the support. Mike didn’t skip a beat and bent down to continue his movements. It was Davy’s turn to be bold and he flipped Mike around pinning him now against the wall and removing his shirt. Davy began to lead a trail of kisses and licks from Mike’s chest to his waist band ever so slowly. Mike groaned and gyrated his body in pleasure.

Davy smiled up deviously as he reached the waist band as if begging Mike to make the next move. Mike looked down at a sight he had no doubt been waiting for. Mike motioned for Davy to stand up and lead him backward across the room. Mike lifted Davy off the floor and placed him on the nearest table. Davy rested his palms on the table behind himself and allowed Mike to unbutton his shirt to reveal his tan chest. Mike moved his hands up and down Davy’s torso as he leaned in for another passionate kiss. Mike grabbed the back of Davy’s head and pulled him in and then reaching his arms around to press Davy’s body into his own.

That was all Davy could take. He pushed a stunned Mike away and shoved him towards his bedroom door while putting their lips together once more. He fumbled for the knob in the dark and thrust Mike inside and onto his bed. Then the door was slammed shut.


	3. Chapter 3

Mike broke his gaze from the rainstorm and looked around the half empty room. It was disconcerting that not long ago the room was completely full and occupied. His attention moved from the ajar closet door that revealed nothing but hangers to the dresser with only the remnants of some shattered glass on top. His eyes fixated on a mattress, stripped of all things except a bare pillow. He remembered when there were other things in there that were more naked than the mattress itself…

Mike stretched his arms and folded them above his head. He was breathing heavily and needed to slow things down to get a proper word in. “That…uh…that was…something.”

Davy cocked his head to the side inquisitively. “Something? That’s all? Maybe I give myself too much credit.”

Davy had flashed Mike one of his smiles that always made Mike go weak in the knees. Good thing they were lying down. “I apologize for downplaying,” Mike laughed, “but I’m afraid that there are no words to describe what just happened that would do it justice.”

The pair had been at it like rabbits since the night of the storm. They both had given into their carnal urges and there was no stopping things once they had started. Mike was enjoying every moment with Davy, but there was still something that was nagging at his mind. Was this love or was it lust? They had not addressed the issue since it was very clear what was going on currently. And Mike didn’t want to rock the boat. He loved Davy, he knew that. He just wasn’t sure about Davy’s feelings and he was afraid that these trysts would stop if Davy knew there were feelings involved. Though Davy could be a love ‘em and leave ‘em guy at times, Mike knew the aftermath of those situations and how much Davy cared about other people. This caring must have caused his next question.

“What’s on your mind?”

Mike was startled out of his train of thought. “What? Nothing!”

“Uh-huh, so you’re just staring off into space for no reason when you have me to be looking at?” Davy joked.

“It’s nothing, really.”

Davy began poking at Mike’s side. “Tell me what it is!”

Mike wriggled away and put his arms back down at his sides. “Quit it!”

“Not until you tell me what has gotten you so troubled.”

“I’m not troubled! How could I be when I get to be with you?” Mike gave Davy a light couple slaps on the cheek.

“Oh you’re going to be troubled!” Davy got up and sat on top of Mike pinning the taller man to the mattress.

“Get offa me! Unless you plan on doing _something_…” Mike raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m not getting off of you or with you until you tell me,” Davy responded cheekily.

Mike struggled underneath Davy’s body. “Wow, you’re strong, kid…for a munchkin,” he teased.

Davy got a joking pained look on his face. They both laughed but Davy turned quickly to hide his smile so that he wouldn’t give up the façade that Mike hurt his feelings.

“You aren’t strong enough though,” Mike shouted and quickly overturned Davy’s position since he wasn’t paying close attention by looking away.

Davy struggled under Mike’s body to no avail. “Unhand me you brute!”

“Awww. You’re so cute when you struggle,” Mike kissed the tip on Davy’s nose.

Davy’s face softened at that moment and he looked up at Mike with his big, brown eyes. “God, I love you.”

A look a shock washed over Mike’s face. He couldn’t put his thoughts together as to how to respond. All he could muster was “Huh?”

Davy face turned a slight shade of pink. “Nothing.”

“Did you say what I think you said?”

Davy heaved a heavy sigh. “Yeah, I did. I love you. I’ve felt this way a long time. I’m sorry I killed the mood and made things weird.”

Mike needed a moment to catch his breath. This was all he was hoping for and now he felt like he was blowing it. He composed himself and loosened his grip on Davy’s body. He laid down beside him and put his arms around Davy’s back pulling him closer.

“Never apologize for that. I love you more than anything in this world. I wanted to tell you a million times, but was afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same.”

Mike took his hand and moved stray hairs out of Davy’s eyes. He mustered up all of his might to make sure tears didn’t fall from his eyes. “I want you to be mine. What do you say?”

Davy leaned forward and brushed their lips together.

“Was that a yes?” Mike smiled.

Davy smiled back. “Absolutely.”


	4. Chapter 4

Davy leaned his head back against the back of his seat and closed his eyes. He felt so mentally exhausted, yet his racing thoughts made sleep impossible. He knew that sleep would be the sweet release from the mental torment. It was no use though. The closed eyes just made the memories swirl around more vividly in the darkness. It was almost as if he was back there in that moment reliving it…

Davy walked into the house with vigor. The holiday party he had attended was as fun as it was important career wise. He was able to network and pass along a good word about the band in the process. He was chomping at the bit to talk to Mike all about it although there was some lingering tension he still felt in his body about how things were ended before he left. He climbed the stairs to their now shared bedroom. He found Mike lying down in bed facing the opposite direction of the door. Davy was confused it wasn’t_ that _late and Mike didn’t usually wear his wool hat to bed. Either he was very exhausted or something was up.

Davy gently eased himself onto the bed next to Mike. He was aiming to lightly wake Mike. Not that he wanted to disturb him but he was excited to tell him about the night and also he had missed him. Davy had been the only one invited to the holiday party due to some connections with a past girlfriend. It was great for the band but Mike had had a sour reaction to the idea of Davy going to this party alone. Mike claimed that it wasn’t because he didn’t trust Davy…it was just that no one in their ‘right mind’ would want their significant other ‘hobnobbing’ with exes. Davy understood and made an attempt to soothe Mike’s nerves, and though his boyfriend voiced his approval in the end it was clear to Davy that Mike wasn’t completely onboard. Call it intuition, but something was definitely off before he left.

Davy reached over to tap Mike’s shoulder, but before he had a chance Mike whipped around to face him. His eyes were wide and it was obvious that he hadn’t been asleep. There was a disgruntled look plastered to his face and yet there was much about his mannerisms that were unreadable. Davy had been a bit startled by the suddenness of Mike’s movements and had to gather his wits.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were awake,” Davy went to stroke Mike’s cheek.

Mike recoiled at the nearing gesture. “You’re home later than I thought you’d be.”

The tone was answering all the unreadability. Mike was angry. It was just not completely clear as to if it was about the party or something else that may have transpired. Davy decided to keep himself even keel.

“Funny, this is earlier than when I would normally come home!” he joked to lighten the mood. “I left early because I missed you.”

“I still think it’s late,” Mike answered ignoring the sentiment. “What could you have possibly been doing all that time?”

Davy was again caught off guard by the curtness of his responses. “Well, it was an industry party so I was working the room making connections and what not.”

“Connections?”

“Yeah, for the band, you know getting our name out there and on their radar.”

“Anything come of it?”

“Not in terms of job offerings on the spot, because you gotta think that they’d want an audition. I got some business cards and some people were showing general interest.”

“Doesn’t seem like something that would take all night…” Mike deadpanned.

“I mean you know me, I’m a social butterfly, and so I was enjoying myself and chatting with people.”

“Girls?”

Davy was hurt by the accusation but pressed on with his joyful spirit in an attempt to avoid conflict. “Not necessarily. Sure there were women there but I spread myself out. This one guy in from New York was convinced that I would make a fantastic Broadway actor. He kept trying to persuade me to come to New York and try out for one of his shows. Can you imagine? Me as a Broadway star! Never in my wildest…”

“So you’re leaving us to make it in the Big Apple?” Mike interrupted sitting up tall.

Davy shrank away feeling uncomfortable and he moved backward onto his own bed. “No, I was flattered but there’s no way I’d consider doing that. I would hope that you would know that.”

Mike’s expression changed. His once dark eyes seemed to soften a bit and he looked down. His mouth turned from a straight line of irritability into a shamefaced frown. Davy watched Mike’s change in mood unfold before his eyes. His body eased in tension and he lowered himself down from the hovering position he had been in.

“I’m sorry,” Mike said lifting his head to make eye contact. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“I think it was a green eyed monster,” Davy replied coldly crossing his arms. He was not one to let someone treat him in such a way and let them get away with it.

“I mean you have to admit that you have been with a lot of girls and have seen multiple at a time. You can’t fault me for worrying.”

“And that doesn’t mean I’m going to do that to you. I feel hurt that you would think because I date a couple girls that I’m not serious about at that same time that it means I would jeopardize something I am serious about. You must think so little of me.”

Davy looked over and Mike had misty eyes. “I don’t think little of you and I feel awful that it is coming off that way. I guess fear is taking over and making me say/do stupid things.”

“Fear about what?” Davy asked.

“Losing you,” Mike answered. “You have got to be everything I’ve ever wanted and I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“Look, you’ve had me from the beginning. I’ve fallen head over heels for you. You’re getting so tangled up in your head. Quit trying to hold onto me so tight, you already have me.”

“I can have something and it can be gone in a second. It’s happened before.”

Davy nodded. “I can respect that fear and at the same time, if this keeps happening you’ll lose me a different way.”

Mike nodded in understanding. There was nothing left to say about the matter. “So you think you’ve got the chops for Broadway, huh?” Mike smiled.

“Think? I know I’d be amazing at that,” Davy threw a pillow at Mike.

Mike caught the pillow with ease and reached over and pulled Davy back onto the same bed as him. “Why don’t you tell me all about your talents then?”

Davy nestled in next to Mike and regaled him with the conversation he had with the guy at the party. Mike listened quietly and rubbed Davy’s back as he spoke. Davy’s heart was fluttering in his chest. There was no way he could leave this. But there was still a sense of unease that Davy would bury in the back of his mind for now.


	5. Chapter 5

Mike wandered downstairs. He needed to get out of the room that was filled with memories of good times and reminders that things were not the same. Though as he scanned the downstairs area thinking of how to occupy his time, there was no shortage of memories available. There was the leg chain attached to the chair. A pair of old boxing gloves discarded in the corner. A brown, women’s wig on the coat rack. And worst of all, a lonely tambourine was propped up on top of a pair of crisscrossed red maracas.

Mike wished that Micky and Peter had been home wrapped up in some crazy scheme that would require his attention. But no such luck. He walked over to the bandstand and sat on the edge. He picked up his guitar and strummed to see if it was in tune. Then he began to play a very familiar, haunting melody…

Mike wiped his sweaty palms against his pant legs again. He was so nervous. And why wouldn’t he be, it was a very important day for his and Davy’s relationship. December 30th to be exact. It was both their birthdays and Mike wanted to do something special for him. It was difficult since funds were always low, but Mike was determined to make this day meaningful for the both of them.

Davy had said he had to step out, which gave Mike plenty of time to shove Micky and Peter out the door with some free vouchers for a holiday fair that Mike found in the newspaper. He was getting himself mentally prepared and hoped that Davy liked what he had put together.

The door knob began to turn and Mike’s stomach lurched. He was a mixture of nerves and butterflies. It was like his stomach was going to explode. He watched as Davy walked in backwards. Davy shut the door and turned around keeping his hands behind his back. He smiled over at Mike which made Mike’s heart melt into a puddle in his stomach. Davy approached the bandstand hands still behind his back.

“What’s with this?” Mike gestured towards Davy’s hiding hands.

“You know just a little something for an important day,” Davy winked.

Mike began beaming. “You didn’t have too…What is it?!” Mike playfully tried to wrestle Davy’s arms forward producing laughter from both of them.

Davy cleared his throat. “_I’ve got flowers in the Spring_,” Davy sang what the pair now decided to be their song and produced a single rose in a small glass vase from behind his back.

Mike gently took the flower and smelled if before setting it on the stool next to him.

Davy continued on, “_I’ve got you to wear my ring.” _In his other hand he held a small, black jewelry box.

Mike’s mouth dropped at the sight. Surely neither of them could afford something like this. Davy opened the box and revealed the contents. Inside was Davy’s prized possession, his silver ring with the black stone. Mike knew how much that meant to Davy. He never took it off. Mike’s eyes rose to meet Davy’s.

“This is yours.”

Davy nodded. “And now it’s yours.”

“I know how much this means to you.”

“So I guess that now you know how much you mean to me too.”

Mike’s eyes welled up with tears. Davy took Mike’s hand and placed the ring on Mike’s right ring finger. Mike’s fingers were so slender that the ring fit him perfectly. Davy took a moment to admire how the ring looked on Mike’s hand. Mike touched the stone lovingly. He reached over and took Davy’s face in his hands. He rubbed Davy’s cheeks with his thumbs before pulling him in for a tender kiss.

“Thank you,” Mike whispered.

“I love you, Babe,” Davy answered softly.

Mike felt all warm inside. “I love you, too.”

The two held their position for a few moments basking in the love that both were feelings for each other. Mike felt goose bumps rise on his skin as Davy traced his fingertips along Mike’s palms. Mike caught Davy’s hand by surprise and moved him towards the designated spot.

“Now I need you to sit front and center for this one.”

“You aren’t going to chain me to this chair again are you?”

“Maybe later,” Mike teased as he picked up his guitar and got situated. “Now, I know this isn’t much but I wrote something for you.”

Davy’s eyes lit up. “You wrote a song for me?”

Mike nodded. Davy sat at full attention and Mike began playing the chords that he had been practicing for some time:

_“In a long and involved conversation with myself_

_I saw a precious thing come into view_

_When I poured through the files taken off my mental shelf_

_I dusted off some memories of you_

_Then I thought about the times _

_When all the world was green_

_How the phoenix of our love first flapped its silver wings_

_All the urgency and passion of each new day as it happened_

_And how it all mellowed as it grew_

_I remember the times that our laughter would explode_

_And how you would turn to hide your smile_

_Then the hours of silence while the perfumed candle glowed_

_And both of us meandered on for miles_

_I remember the time I said I really had to go_

_I remember the tears that filled your eyes_

_Then I touched your hand and told you that it really was a lie_

_And though you never knew I did, I cried_

_It's amazing how time can so softly change your ways_

_And make you look at things that can't be seen_

_How the years that roll by can start you listening_

_Not just to what they say, but what they mean_

_So forgive me my dear if I seem preoccupied_

_If the razor edge of youth filled love is gone_

_But we're both a little older, our relationship has grown_

_Not just in how it's shaped, but how it's shown_

_So forgive me my dear if I seem preoccupied_

_If the razor edge of youth filled love is gone_

_But we're both a little older and our relationship has grown_

_Not just in how it's shaped, but how it's shown.”_

Mike put his guitar down and locked eyes with a quiet Davy. There was no discernible expression on his face which made Mike nervous. Davy must not have liked the song or thought the gift was lame. Mike looked away down at the ring on his finger. Of course, that gift was better than a dumb song. What had he been thinking? He felt a presence by his side. Davy crouched down next to him and crooked a finger under Mike’s chin making their eyes meet.

“I’m speechless,” Davy admitted.

“Why?”

“That was the most beautiful way to envision our love story. As short as it may be right now, you captured the moments and gave a depiction into the future.”

Mike blushed. “I thought you were speechless.”

“I guess I had more to say than I thought…but I know how you can keep me quiet.”

Mike took the bait and embraced Davy into a kiss. They both melted into the kiss and it lasted for what felt like hours.

They pulled apart and Mike pressed their foreheads together and stared into Davy’s eyes. “Happy Birthday, Baby.”


	6. Chapter 6

The rain had begun to fall again making a rat-a-tat sound on the roof of the bus. Davy supposed he could stand the sound of the rain more than the look of it. The shades of gray outside were depressing and the sound was more soothing and he could pretend it was something else. A familiar pressure saturated the area around his eyes and nose. He could take a few tears now and then, he wasn’t afraid to cry every once and a while.

Davy looked down at his black and silver ring as he spun it around on his finger. He always did that when he was distracted. The ring seemed bigger to him than it ever had before. Maybe it was because it represented much more now than before. There was more emotion attached to it now. Mixed emotions. A small trinket with big significance. A constant reminder…

Davy stood in front of the bedroom door that had been slammed in his face. He was contemplating if opening it was a good choice or a bad one. Sometimes when Mike was angry it was best to leave him alone, but at the same time Davy was angry too. Why should Mike always get his way and be allowed to act however he wants with no repercussions. Davy decided that he deserved to say his piece no matter the reaction he would get. Mike needed to know.

Davy stalled a bit and looked over the bannister at the continuing party below. Everything seemed to have gone back to normal. Peter had probably smoothed things over with a cover story. He was good with excuses like that, more quick thinking than people would believe. Perhaps he had said the pair had been fighting over a girl or that they had had a tiff earlier that day. Or maybe he just continued on with a story of one of their many adventures and the guests didn’t seem phased by the spectacle they had witnessed. Davy longed to turn around and head back down there. That would really piss Mike off, but this wasn’t a tit for tat exchange right now. That wouldn’t solve anything.

Davy turned to door knob and walked inside. Mike was pacing near the beds and Davy decided to stand back near the dresser. He didn’t feel like being close to Mike right now. Mike looked up for a moment and then put his head back down looking at the floor. His face read perfectly clear that he was infuriated by the sharp eyebrows and scowl. Davy wasn’t deterred from that one bit.

“What the hell was that? You embarrassed me down there! Not to mention made a scene, its Peter’s birthday party!” Davy scolded.

“_I_ embarrassed _you_? Are you kidding me?” Mike shouted. “_You_ embarrassed _me_!”

“Okay, what’s my damage today? Was it by being sociable and polite to the guests we have over?”

“No by making kissy faces and flirting with anything in a skirt down there!”

Davy was fuming now. He had been able to contain his composure before but now his blood was boiling. “How dare you? I was just talking to people like I always do!”

“Right like you always do! Making little jokes, touching their arms, making those coy little smiles!”

“Oh, you mean being friendly?”

“If that’s what you call being friendly I’d hate to see what you do with people that are more than acquaintances!”

“Excuse me?”

“I know you heard me.”

“I did, I just can’t believe what you’re saying. You want me to be hidden away and unreachable to the general public so you can have me all to yourself. What are you hoping to accomplish by doing that?”

“I just want you to show some decency and respect to your partner.”

Davy gritted his teeth. “Nothing gives you the right to say things like that about me in front of a crowd of people. I don’t care how angry you are. These matters between us should be kept private, not broadcast like that. That doesn’t show decency and respect to your partner. You should be embarrassed by yourself.”

“Nothing that I said down there wasn’t untrue. Also, there’s no way anyone knew what I was talking about. Those people don’t even know we’re together.”

“Precisely why I talk to women like I normally would! You don’t want things spreading around do you? Well, it’s going to when you’re making statements like ‘Unbelievable! That guy is slicker than a rattlesnake. And wants to put his snake in any person he comes in contact with’. Is that what you really think of me?”

“If the rattle fits the snake.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Sorry I don’t speak backwoods hillbilly,” Davy shot back.

Mike stopped moving and stared Davy dead in the eye. “It means once a whore and always a whore.”

Davy’s blood turned ice cold. He felt the words cut through him like a knife. “You think I’m a whore?”

Mike shrugged. “I think I made myself perfectly clear. It’s no use talking to you about things like this. You believe your own lies so much that they become your truths. You never think you do anything wrong.”

Davy shook his head. “That’s a lovely picture you’ve painted. I’m vile and you’re a saint, right? Wrong! You’re just a jealous bastard! I didn’t do anything wrong. And I’ve already told you how I felt about you but apparently that doesn’t matter.”

“Actions speak louder than words. And if you think that I’m wrong this relationship never meant anything to you”

“How about the actions I’ve taken to show you what you mean to me!”

Mike looked down at the ring on his finger. “What this? How’s this for an action.”

Mike took off the ring and threw it across the room at Davy. Davy ducked and the ring sailed over his head crashing into the vase with the now dried out rose in it. The vase shattered into pieces and the ring clinked onto the floor in front of Davy’s feet.

Davy and Mike gave each other steely eyed looks. They were both breathing heavily. Davy could feel the tears beginning to sting his eyes. He had done nothing to deserve this. He picked the ring up off the floor as Mike stomped out past him. Davy collapsed onto the floor and let the tears fall freely. Tears for the heartache. Tears for the pain. Tears for the knowledge of what was to come.


	7. Chapter 7

Mike ambled back to his bedroom. He picked up a book on his nightstand and opened to the page with the rose pressed into it. He touched the rose gingerly before shutting the book again. He lay in his bed on his side facing the wall. He just wanted to lay there and forget the world. That was better than continuing to face the unimaginable pain he had brought upon himself. The regret was unbearable…

Mike knew that he had overreacted. He had had a few drinks in him and that always clouded his judgment. It was by no means an excuse for his behavior and he was hoping to have the chance to explain himself. Make things right. He had the night to clear his mind walking around in the cold until the guests left and then retiring to the hammock to give Davy some space. It was the least he could do. He had a knot in his stomach as he looked at the closed door. All he wanted was forgiveness and was praying that was available.

Mike opened the door and didn’t find what he expected. He was anticipating a distraught Davy either lying in bed or watching the oncoming rain clouds out the window. Instead, there was Davy putting the finishing touches on packing up his belongings in suitcases. His bed was stripped and the closet and drawers were empty. Mike’s mouth dropped. This didn’t look like a room switching move, this looked more permanent. Davy realized Mike had entered the room. His body was fraught with emotion. Anger. Sadness.

Mike didn’t even know how to proceed but he had to say something. “What’s all this?”

“What does it look like? I’m leaving.”

“Leaving?”

“Why are you confused? You did it last night so I thought you’d understand the gesture,” Davy said violently shaking out a shirt before folding it.

That stung Mike but he knew he deserved it. “I’m sorry about last night.”

“Save it! I’m already over the sorrys from you. This trouble between us is nothing new. I can’t do this pattern where you break me down and then come back to build me back up and repair the damage you did.”

“This has only happened twice so far!”

Davy nodded as he zipped up his luggage and then looked over at Mike. “That was two times too many. I don’t appreciate being called a whore and constantly being accused of doing things that I am not doing. I’ve had patience. I warned you about this and you made a choice. What am I supposed to do? Keep listening to you degrade me and bite my tongue in vain?”

“I apologized what else do you want?”

“Nothing,” Davy said quietly. “I had so much to give in this relationship and all you did was take. And you left me empty. I have nothing to give you anymore.”

“I gave you things too! Don’t act as though this relationship was one-sided. I wrote that song for you or did that mean nothing?”

“I feel like the meaning of that song is null and void.”

Mike began to feel attacked and went into defense mode. “Don’t you think that this is a bit of an overdramatic action over two arguments? I mean we’ve had many more good times than bad.”

Davy set his jaw. “No, I think two times of being berated by you is justification enough to do what’s best for myself. And you’re reaction right now is just proving to myself that I’m making the right choice.”

Mike felt the tears come again. “I can change. Give me the chance to prove to you that I can!”

Davy shook his head. “I can’t give you something you don’t have. I did give you a chance and you failed miserably. Who knows where this will go if I stay in it. I’m giving up this game of ‘will he be mad at me for looking at another person or not’. That’s no way to live. And you have no one to blame but yourself.”

Davy picked up his bags and walked towards the door. Mike blocked his way and tried to pull the suitcases out of his hands to put them on the floor. “We need to talk about this! You can’t just abruptly leave when things aren’t going your way. Tell me again why you have to leave and you don’t need me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I loved you. I gave you every piece of me. And you tossed away everything and shattered my heart into a million pieces. I need to move on completely. If you can leave when things aren’t going your way than so can I,” Davy answered.

“That’s not a reason to leave. I don’t buy that, you’re just running scared!”

“You’re right I am scared. Scared of what this relationship will eventually turn into. And judging from your last statement I’m right about what it will be. Good to know you haven’t learned a goddamn thing.”

Mike held back the angry words he was about to strike back with. “Where are you even going?”

“I’m going to try my luck on Broadway. I called that talent scout from New York I met at that party, and he’s already arranged a bus ticket for me.”

There was that silent tension that was so common in their relationship. Mike was searching his mind for something to do to make it right. Davy was just waiting for Mike to get out of his way.

“I love you,” Mike made a last ditch effort to appeal to Davy’s heart.

“I don’t love you like I did just yesterday. This love doesn’t feel right,” Davy said gesturing between the two of them.

Mike opened his mouth to say something else and Davy held his hand up. “Save your breath. I’m over the struggle that it takes to be with you.”

Davy pushed past Mike and Mike grabbed his arm spinning him around. Their faces were close and their contrasting emotions were visible in their eyes. “Please don’t go.”**…**

Mike let the tears fall down and he curled up in the bed. This was it. It was too late to go after him and he knew Davy didn’t want to be chased. What was causing Mike the most agony was having so much to say about his regret and how much Davy meant him and now not having the chance. All he did was watch Davy walk away. If Mike could do everything over again he would have taken back all those words from the night before and replace them with the ones that were now to be left unspoken. Davy left before Mike had a chance to say the words that would mend the things that were broken.

All that was left to do was lay in the mess he had made. Everything was long gone and there was nothing else he could do. He might be okay in the long run but he wouldn’t be fine at all. All he was trying to do was love him.


End file.
